I'm Jenny. This is my story.

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To Have and To Hold: A Broken Marriage

To Have and To Hold: A Broken Marriage

Dear one, this is for you. Looking back over the years, maybe decades, you observe the rubble that was your marriage. You are searching for the treasure, but all you see are broken pieces of what could have been beautiful. To have and to hold, […]

My House

My House

Sitting quietly in an over-lit conference room, we look at closing documents and mortgage papers on the long table in front of us. I am filled with a mix of relief and agitation at the commitment of buying a home. Polite talk fills the room […]

Apologies

Apologies

Lying in the dark, a cold stillness all around me, I know that he wants me to “meet his needs”. I’m turned away towards my bedroom window. His hand grazes my hip, and my heart burns under my ribs. His words from previous disagreements echo […]

Budget

Budget

“We need to setup a new budget. This isn’t working; you are constantly transferring money from savings,” J states. “Well, I don’t what else you want me to do. I can’t pull money out of my butt. You are spending way over your entertainment budget, […]

Wrestling

Wrestling

In our bedroom, with dark, muted blue walls, I sift through my pajama pants to find a pair to exchange for my fitted jeans. I slink into a pair of yoga pants, but leave my sweater on, eager to sit down and relax for a […]

Laundry

Laundry

“Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” I listen to the door close quietly as the hot tears come. Isn’t this supposed to help? Then why do I feel more hopeless than ever? We sit a few inches apart on a stuffed couch […]

Evergreen

Evergreen

Driving as the rain falls in a drizzle on the car, I see a white church on the side of the mountain, “That is the first church I’ve seen in a long time.” He says with disdain, “Well, this sure isn’t Siloam Springs, ‘where Jesus […]

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the U.S. having experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Source: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 2010 Summary Report. National Center […]

Honeymoon

Honeymoon

  A new counselor, with grey at his temples asks me in his formal office, “When did the problems start?” I remember the room. I remember the tile floors, large white square tiles. I remember lots of light in the room, a simple room, a […]

Bedtime

Bedtime

  It’s late at night and I’m lying on the edge of the bed as far away from him as I can get. I am mostly numb. I want to feel something, but there are too many feelings to narrow them down. I am trapped, […]